


What the Critics Boldy Call the Latest and Greatest Blueberry Rubberband

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Camping, Multi, Pale Porn, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, ambiguous canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rose and Dave and Jade go camping and run out of things to do.</p><p>So they have sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What the Critics Boldy Call the Latest and Greatest Blueberry Rubberband

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AliveArsenic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliveArsenic/gifts).



> Hope you enjoy! I love pale betas.

_If all the lights on earth went out,_

_I think we just might see_

_How bright the stars above us are,_

_Reflected in the sea._

 

_If everybody rode a bike,_

_Think how quiet it would be_

_No noisy motors driving past,_

_To bother you and me._

* * *

 

 

Warm summer rain beats down on the opened window on the cap of Jade's truck, trickling down the slope of the glass and dripping – plink, plink, plink – onto the very edge of her tailgate or, occasionally, landing with a sizzle on the camp stove that she's propped there. She stirs some more brown sugar into the oatmeal while John sits peeling the last apple. The leaves outside tremble and buckle in cycles, dumping the pooled rain onto the ground and springing back up just to do it all again. On the opposite burner from their dinner, the kettle whistles. Rose takes a break from reading (out loud, to John) to fill a thermos with two black teabags and a generous amount of sugar. She caps it and lets it steep. John hands Jade a freshly peeled and chopped apple. She tosses it in the pot with another pinch of cinnamon for good measure.

 

“Is it done yet? It has to be done, right? We've been sitting here for two hours watching you concoct some sort of deconstructed apple strudel muffin in a pot and I'm starving.”

 

“Dave,” Jade answers brightly. “I know you know what oatmeal is, and I also know that you know that we've only been sitting in here for half an hour at most! So stop whining.”

 

“Forgive me to trying to add a little bit of hyperbolic spice to this Hurricane Katrina tailgate party. Is it gonna be done soon or not, stop playing and just answer me before I waste away.”

 

“It could happen,” says John, prodding Dave in the stomach. “He could die right here and then he'd start stinking up the place even worse than you do when you take your socks off.”

 

“It would be interesting to see the physiological result of Dave's decomposition, though,” Rose adds. “Given the circumstances of his diet I'm sure the aroma would be interesting at least, and wholly unique in all of recorded history, at best.”

 

“Admit it, Lalonde, you only want to see me dead so you can live out your necrophiliac fantasies on the long-time object of your heterosexual lusting. Just prop me up, wait for rigor mortis to set in, and take the D-Train straight to the bone zone.”

 

“Hmm . . . yes, that's accurate, ignoring the overlooked satanic cannibalism ritual.. I did tell you to stop rifling through my dream diary, didn't I? I'd hate to think our relationship has lost the trust it's built upon. It'd make sodomizing your corpse so much less fulfilling, not having that bond between the two of us.”

 

John snickers. Jade doles out the oatmeal into 4 different bowls. She serves Dave last. They sit cross legged in a rough circle, passing the thermos of tea back and forth between them like a Talking Stick's evil twin, only pausing in their constant conversation to take a drink or shovel some rapidly solidifying oat-slop into their mouth.

 

The previous night, the sky had been clear and they had piled their sleeping bags by the fire on top of the salvaged pelt of what might have once been a bear that Jade pulled out of her late grandfather's attic. They watched the stars and roasted s'mores and dried their river-soaked bathing suits by the flames. Dave tried to get pictures of it all. No one would sit still long enough. Jade tried, at least, to her credit, but John was great at always finding a new spot to tickle, or to timing his horrible jokes just right. Rose, skin not as light as Dave's but a good few shades lighter than the other two, had a nasty habit of throwing off the white balance. They had a tent, for backup, but they hadn't bothered to put it out. They slept under the stars as the embers died down and the fireflies took their place sparkling.

But that had been last night.

 

Tonight the rains come. The sky had been overcast all day, which made the weather perfect for hiking and _terrible_ for photography. The sun was setting by the time they made it back to the trail head, and the clouds had just began to burst by the time they made it back to their campsite. They decided to forego the tent then as well, no one wanting to string poles and flies in the dark and damp. Instead, they piled into the bed of Jade's truck and made dinner. They tuck the dirty dishes away in a tub somewhere, leaving them to be tomorrow's problem. The tailgate hangs open to let the night air in.

 

“And so, the Covetous Mage, who had bested their bedraggled party endlessly, and even more endlessly after that, lay slain at the feet of the Son of Balthazar. His blood was the rusting red of a common man's, devoid of any hint of nobility or born power that the legends foretold, and Iris's Prism braced herself for the flash of yet another ruse by the Covetous, perhaps some last grand illusion to maintain his upper hand and thwart them at their most fragile. None came. Their most persevering enemy had Fallen, like so many of the Mages before him, and his mask lay slightly askew on his face, opening the Travelers to the hint of a true man underneath it. Kali stepped forward to remove it and she could scarcely hide her disgust as he was revealed to be none other than-”

 

“Wait, wait, wait who's Kali?”

 

“ _Jade!_ ” John whines. “We were JUST getting to the good part! Why did you have to ruin the mood.”

 

“I'm a little lost too, I thought Pink Floyd was working for the Covetous why wouldn't she be in on any of the fresh-off-the-griddle betrayal the mage guy was serving up?”

 

“Noo! First of all her name is Iris's Prism and she will be my wife some day. Second of all, she _hates_ the covetous. She would never, ever work with them. You're not even paying attention, Dave.”

 

“At least I know who Kali is-”

 

“Should I be offended,” Rose asks, “That I'm being overlooked for matrimony in favor of a fictional enchantress?”

 

“Pfft! I am not overlooking you at all, it can be me and you AND Iris's Prism all getting married.”

 

“If I could marry any of them, I'd marry Kali.” Is John's unprompted opinion.

 

“Oh,” Rose says with the hint of a vicious smile. “Is that so?”

 

“Of course you'd pick Kali, you're only into girls who can kick your ass. That's why you hang out with Scooby and Velma over here.”

 

“Aww, I wouldn't kick your ass, John. Don't listen to Dave, he's just jealous that Rose and Iris's Prism and I won't marry him.”

 

“I never said you _would_ kick his ass, but admit it. You could.”

 

Rose nods solemnly.

 

“God! Okay! Fine!” John huffs. “Stop talking about kicking my ass and get back to the story, I wanna know what the deal is with the Covetous Mage.”

 

“I think it's best to hold on that revelation until tomorrow. The mood isn't right for this narrative anymore.” Rose smugly tucks the book back into her bag with cruel flourish and John groans.

 

“Jade this is all your fault.”

 

“Hey! I just asked a question! Dave is the one who went and-”

 

“See what I mean?”

 

The bickering breaks into laughter as they both concede the point to Rose. They lie back, elbow to hip to shoulder to chest, loosely interlocking with each other in the pile of bedding and baggage. Jade's truck is dressed to the nines – sweeping scarves in every color line the cap, speckled with glow in the dark stars and LED string lights. Battery operated candles flicker with soft artificiality propped up on the wheel wells and the tubs of camping supplies. Bumper stickers from across the continent and then some paint a tapestry of road trips on the rear window. It's comforting in the way that only soft light and familiar clutter can be. They transition through a fleeting moment of quieted conversation while they adjust and settle.

 

“What should we do now?” It's John, who asks.

 

“We could play some more card games,” Suggests Rose. “I found UNO to be much more interesting with the addition of your customized cards. Reverse skip draw 4 wildcard is a real bitch, and one I'd like to familiarize myself with. I find her withholding, and unbelievably sexy.”

 

“UNO is a cruel mistress and I am pretty sure she is _your_ mistress because you somehow keep wining! Seriously you can't even strategize in UNO unless I am just really stupid and missing something. It should be physically impossible to win that many times in a row.”

 

“I'm not denying it should be impossible, but obviously it _isn't_ impossible.”

 

“Which is why UNO is stupid and I'm not playing anymore.”

 

“We could watch a movie or some tv. I'm pretty sure I have some stuff HBO hasn't even aired in North America yes torrented onto my laptop.”

 

“No, I'm not in the mood,” Says Rose, with a shake of her head. “I'm rather enjoying the more rustic nature of this trip so far. This doesn't feel like a movie watching night to me.”

 

“Lame, but whatever. I'll be nice and refrain from spoiling all the times you get to see Danaerys's rack in this season. Jade, what about you, any bright ideas?”

 

And here's where Jade has to decide whether or not it's worth the risk.

 

* * *

 

See, it happened the first (and only) time over a year ago now – maybe pushing two – back before Rose quit drinking and the four of them were a little bit too enabling of each other's bad habits including but not limited to: poor diets, all nighters, def poetry, cheating at frisbee golf and/or hackey sack, starting flash mobs, inappropriately timed busking, cat chasing, bartering and/or haggling at Starbucks, free-climbing skyscrapers, tagging trains, diving (both scuba and dumpster varieties), competitive MMORPG PVP matches, petty theft, amateur cinematography, reddit, and binge drinking. The party was one of their good ones where no one puked and John remembered to stop drinking in the ever-critical zone between Annoying Drunk John and Sad Drunk John, where Fun Drunk John ruled the night. Dave, as rare as he was to do so, had even knocked back a few. Jade had spent most of her night with a bottle of Cherry 7 UP duct taped to one hand, and a bottle of vanilla vodka similarly affixed to the other. Rose, true to her form in those days, had been getting increasingly tipsier since waking that morning and showed no signs of slowing down.

 

Even through the haze of time and alcohol, the events of That Night stubbornly persist in each of their memories. Jade remembers John leaning over her, hands aside her head, legs spread, straddling her hips. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss and he came out the other end of it with skewed glasses and ruffled hair and she tried to pull him back down for more.

 

“Jade,” He said, serious, not much like Fun Drunk John at all and more like Sad Drunk John but she didn't think he was that quite far along yet. “You're drunk.”

 

“So are you, dork.”

 

“Yeah, but-” He stumbled over his words, brain running a few pauses slower than usual. “It's. You know what I mean though. This is like every movie aimed at anyone between sixteen and twenty six. You're not really supposed to-, I mean, when you're drunk. Not you but the general you.”

 

“Where'd fun John go? I miss him.” She poked him in the chest and he took it as invitation to roll himself over, laying corpse pose next to her on Rose's bed. “This isn't some frat party PSA about drinking! You are not a strange boy who is talking some nervous tipsy girl into doing something she doesn't want to do! John I am right here, right now, saying that if you want to have sex with me then we should.”

 

His hand reached out blindly into the space next to him, carding through her hair and trailing down the strong plane of her arm before settling into her own, fingers interlocking.

 

“Jade, we really shouldn't.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Well, I mean. We're drunk.”

 

“Bzzt! Nope. Wrong answer. That is a fakey fake excuse. You have two more tries.”

 

“Jade-”

 

“Bzzt! Not the answer either.”

 

He takes a deep breath and steels himself.

 

“I don't know, I just feel like. It'd be. Wrong, somehow. Not fair.”

 

“Not fair? To who?” She turned her head to face him. He hair stuck to her face with the static electric charge of Rose's sheets, making her look even more wild than usual.

 

“I don't know,” he groaned. “I don't know.”

 

But what stood out clearest in Dave's mind was he and Rose stumbled around the house after clearing out the last few stragglers, searching for the only guests allowed – and expected – to say the night.

 

Their search had ended in Rose's bedroom. The two of them were laying on the rumpled sheets, clothes similarly askew, patches of deep brown skin flashing out between misplaced over shirts and new found gaps between shirt hems and pant waists. They were holding hands and Dave took it upon himself to insert himself in the middle of the situation, cutting off their circulation and leaving pins and needles in their fingers.

 

“That's my bed,” Said Rose. Jade patted the empty space next to her and Rose dutifully moved herself to occupy it. The girls had laughed. None of it was really even funny.

 

“Dave,” Jade had begun sternly. “John wants to have sex with me, but he won't actually do it because he's a big baby.”

 

“Dibs,” mumbled Rose from her half of the bed.

 

“Shit, really?” Dave scoffed. “C'mon dude, it's rude to leave a lady waiting. Even ruder to leave Jade waiting because she'll call you on it. What's the problem here.”

 

“Ugh,” John whined. “Ugh, don't make fun of me, okay?”

 

“I'm definitely gonna make fun of you. Continue.”

 

“I just . . . didn't exactly picture my first time going like this?” Dave swears even now that he felt the heat of John's blush radiating outwards. Even if he hadn't the tone conveyed an uncharacteristic amount of hesitation. John was not shy or shameful in his actions or words. It stood out in Dave's mind like a red X on a sheet of green check marks. The pause was pregnant, but not in any overarching way and the impending conversation loomed differently in each of their minds.

 

“What did you picture it like?” Rose asked.

 

“I don't really know? I guess I just don't think about this kind of thing a lot. I wanted it to be with someone I trust, and someone I like a lot. Someone who I think is pretty. That's pretty much it!”

 

“So what, you don't trust me?” The frown in Jade's voice was playful.

 

“No, I just think you're ugly.” Their laughter jostled Dave back and forth in between them like a pinball.

 

“Okay so I'm no Kiddie Kamper psychiatrist like Dr. Bottle-of-Rosé Lalonde over there, but it seems to me like a whole lot of what you're saying is complete filler nonsense. nonsense and not really an explanation for why you wouldn't want to get your dick wet with this piece of premium jungle ass.”

 

“Hmm... Let me see if I can phrase myself better,” He didn't sound too confident in his ability to do so. “I guess, this is just, a special thing you only really do once and it would feel kinda weird for me and Jade to have this whole . . . Thing we did and you guys got left out of.”

 

“Are you propositioning an orgy, dude.”

 

“What-no!”

 

“I'm down,” Said Rose. “I called dibs on Jade earlier and I stand by that. Also, John, I'm more than willing to help you tend to the ever flowering garden of your budding manhood that is your Penis.”

 

“What about me,” Said Dave.

 

“What about you?”

 

But to John, nothing held quite the same weight as what happened next. Jade had, lacking in any sort of ceremony or warning, shoved her hand down the front of Dave's pants.

 

“See, John,” She had said. “It's easy. Dave, tell me if you're okay with this.”

 

“A-Okay, J-Harles. Cleared for landing. Gate D69 in the southern terminal is ready to taxi and the passengers are getting rowdy in there. We ain't even extended the landing gear and they're already fishing their bags out from under the seats, what a bunch of animals.”

 

“Can I be the sexy airplane pilot,” Asked Rose. She then proceeded to cup her hands around her mouth and mutter something borderline unintelligible, only the words 'love cave' and 'meat wand' escaping the tyranny of her faux-intercom.

 

“Pilots aren't sexy. Stewardesses are sexy.” John corrected her.

 

“Psh, no way,” She shot back. “Stewardesses are just – just, fuck. Sky waitresses. Pilots are the gatekeepers of the Beyond. That's hot.”

 

“Okay I am shutting down the airport metaphors now,” Jade decrees. “You're all on the no-fly list.”

 

“I'm only being labeled a terrorist because my dick is so bomb-”

 

“Dave hush! You're SHUT DOWN!” Before he can even open his mouth, Jade started rubbing him, hand slipped somewhere between his legs and exploring the area with vigor.

 

“Shit,” He gasped. “ _Shit,_ Jade.”

 

“So, John, train's leaving the station. Are we doing this, or are you gonna get out of here and let me and these two enjoy some quality time all on our lonesome?” Rose leaned up to peer at him across the bed, peeking over Jade as she started kissing Dave's neck in time to the motions of her hand.

 

John thought about it for a moment. For reasons he didn't care to think too heavily about, the idea of it not being just him and Jade stayed his first-time jitters. If it were all three of them, nothing could go wrong, right? They'd been through enough together to prove that any sort of group activity, despite the immediate outcome, had brought them closer together in the end.

 

“I'm in,” He says. “Let's do it.”

 

Rose whooped, and Jade grinned in his direction before winking, because she had just done _something_ to Dave that made him let out this crazy noise. John would have sworn it was some kind of auditory aphrodisiac; as horny as he had been grinding on Jade's lap, it paled in comparison to how he felt right then. He smother Dave's cries, pulling him into an overeager kiss.

 

“I'm borrowing this.” Rose pulled Jade off of Dave, breaking up the tangle of bodies the other three had become, and in the drunken haze of the night they find themselves twisting together once more.

 

Rose wiggled, slipping her underwear out from underneath her skirt, not bothering with anything else, and she undid the button on Jade's shorts too, dragging her underwear off along with it. Jade reached down to start rolling down her stockings, but Rose stopped her.

 

“Leave 'em on.” She giggled. Rose, not wasting any time, licked her lips and slid down Jade's chest, unbuttoning her shirt as she went and trailing kisses down to her navel. She took Jade's dick in her mouth in one smooth motion. Hands found each other somewhere in the bedsheets and strewn clothes someone slipped a condom onto John, and it wasn't long after that before he and Jade were pressed face to face, kissing just like they were earlier, Jade's hand nestled between them and sending shock waves up John's spine. Rose weaved her way between the two of them like high tides filling in the bay. She slipped herself down onto John and _god,_ she was tight and warm and just being there like that, with her, with Dave and Jade transitioning from just looking to actually _watching,_ he couldn't have imagined any better way for this to go.

 

His hands shook, overwhelmed and uncertain as he moved them up the soft planes of Rose's stomach and chest, settling briefly to cup her breasts – just to see what it'd feel like, not his final stop – before moving up farther. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in tight, tight, tight like there couldn't be an inch of space between them or he'd just sort of _crumble_. Her head fit so naturally in the crook of his neck and she breathed out soft consonants and round vowels against him as he toyed with her hair. _Ahh, mmm, nnnh..._ Their hips shifted instinctually, Rose curving herself inward and downward while John went out and down, colliding with such spectacular pressure.

 

John was wondering if they were all feeling it – the full body twinge of warmth and static that seemed to leech through him – or if that was some combination of over stimulation and first time jitters. He wasn't sure. He felt himself tighten and start to implode the way burning buildings do. He was hot and hollow and ready to collapse. Rose's movements became more erratic in time with his and the room shifted as Jade slid from her place at Dave's side to lean against his back. Her breasts pressed warmly into his skin. With soft insistence she had Rose lift her head away from John's shoulder, bringing her into another series of kisses as John crawled closer to finishing.

 

“Oh my god, I-” But that was all he could get out before spilling into the condom with a wordless cry. His grip tightened against Rose. His knuckles went white and his face burned and sweat stuck stray hairs to his forehead and it was bliss, even for just those few seconds. His limbs went limp and he collapsed backwards, falling against Jade, ever sturdy, always there for him, even now. She broke her kiss with Rose to lean him down on the bed and for a brief second their eyes met.

 

“How was it?” She asked. She pushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes. Adjusted his freshly smeared and crooked glasses. His heart lurches.

 

“I didn't know it was gonna feel like that.” He said quietly. Jade just laughed. Rose grabbed her forearm and Yanked her away from John, letting her take his place and filling her back up. Her moans started again and Dave muffled them with his mouth. He slipped away from her every so often to mumble praises against her cheek. _You're so pretty, so incredible, so perfect, Rose, Rose, Rose,_ her name like a mantra, her mouth like the holy grail. Jade fucked Rose hard into mattress while Dave touched her soft. The springs creaked and the head board collided with the wall and Rose's breasts heaved with the effort of keeping up.

 

“Dave, help me out here,” Jade had said. He nodded and shifted his position at Rose's other end, reaching over her to start rubbing at her clit in time with Jade's thrusting. She clenched down on Jade like a vice and her voice cracked and faltered with the extra sensation. Her legs shook, tiny little aftershock tremors jolted through her and it didn't take much more after that for her to come too. She slipped off Jade with a wet noise and her folds practically shone with how thoroughly she'd gotten off. Jade swiped her fingers in it and stuck them into Dave's mouth. John couldn't do anything but stare slackjawed and half-hard again as Jade took her spit-covered hand away and wrapped it around his their dicks.

 

Platinum hair and purple eyes. The bed dipped as Rose moved herself closer, bodies like a set of parentheses and hair intermingling on the pillows below. Her breath was ragged and she was glowing like she'd never been happier. Maybe she hadn't been. John honestly wasn't sure he'd ever been happier. Sex wit Dave and Rose and Jade was earth-shattering in the least eventful way possible. It was like breaking through the mantle only to find that the planet's core was just another, warmer, greener, more plentiful version of life on the outside. It was the pure, basest pleasures of life – food, friendship, relaxation, laughter – to a factor of ten. He and Rose layed forehead to forehead while Jade and Dave finished each other off.

 

Their positions were mirror images. Dave and Jade sat, knees interlocking and heads resting against each other as they stroked each other in tandem, curved against each other like an archway. They moved like a well oiled and highly specialized machine, keeping perfect pace with each other and seeming to slot together like they were built for it. John and Rose found themselves in the twilight-zone between horny and happily exhausted and so they sat, kissing lightly and with no particular rush or destination, while they waited for their other halves.

 

Jade was light and breathy when she came and Dave went between stifling his yells and letting them pierce the comfortable silence of the empty house. It's quick when he finishes, he spilled into Jade's hands with one lass choking gasp. Jade was different. She built up force like an avalanche as her orgasm rolled down and out of her, not really ending until it hit the tip of her toes like a shiver. The long night and exertion finally seep into them and they languidly ooze themselves into place between John and Rose. The air was thick and heavy with summer humidity and sweat and the sound of increasingly steady breathing reverberated through the room.

 

“That was great,” said Dave. “I don't even feel like adding a bunch of- fucking, words. Bullshit. To the end of that I'm just gonna say it. God damn. We're really hot.”

 

“We are sooooo hot,” said Jade. “And I am so sleepy.” And she yawned and buried her head in the pillow, still stripped naked save her socks and everyone soon followed her into a heavy sleep.

 

And that, really, was John's memory of that night, the heat of the room and the way their bodies seemed to fit together in such a natural and comfortable way. The sheen on Jade's skin, the blush on Dave's face, the way Rose's hair stuck out around her like a raggedy halo. It's there in the back of his mind, so often when they're all together.

 

Rose doesn't think of it that way. She was drunk that night. Much more than she should have been, and her strongest memories came from the morning after, lying there, head pounding in the sun streaming through her curtains. John had gotten up and walked out of the room and she felt just a little bit sadder and a little bit more nauseous for it. It's not hard to worry about your standing with your friends in the wake of a hangover. But he had crawled back in under the covers only a few minutes later. He tip toed over them and draped himself in between their sleeping figures. John's back rested against Roses and they both closed their eyes again and fell back asleep.

 

Rose remembers how she woke up for real later that day and everyone was still there, waiting in the kitchen. Jade did the dishes and Dave threw away last night's trash and John cooked bacon and eggs with just the right amount of salt. They all drank black coffee.

 

And there, in the half-salvaged wreck of her kitchen the realization hit her like a truck: She wasn't in love with any of them, and she never would be. She'd never want anything from any of them except exactly what she already had.

 

She took another nap that day, head in someone's lap and legs curled up against someone else's torso, and she's just a little bit happier than she was the day before.

 

* * *

 

There's a two-beat pause between John asking her the question and her actually answering. Just enough of a pause to show hesitance, without the soft 'hmm' of consideration.

 

“We could have sex?”

 

“Um,” is John's answer.

 

“You mean like . . . all of us . . . right now?” Dave asks.

 

“Yes! That is what I meant! But, um. No pressure okay guys? It's just a suggestion.”

 

“I'm in,” John interjected almost before she could finish.

 

“Jade, believe me when I say I don't mean to offend,” Rose begins. “But isn't that a little . . . _gay?”_

Jade howls laughing.

 

“You're right, you're right! We can't do it then. Sorry Rose but I'm not . . . y'know. Gay.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

“I mean not that there's anything WRONG with that, but-”

 

“Shoosh, stop before Dave things of something he can say here and we're all stuck listening to that. Just kiss me.”

 

And she does.

 

Jade brings her lips together with Rose's ferocious fervor, smearing the lip stick between their faces and already drawing the breath out of each other. Jade reaches a hand back to tangle lightly in Rose's hair. She runs her fingers though the platinum strands tenderly, with none of the sexuality of their kissing but with just as much intimacy. She delicately untangles and stray hairs that get caught with the strings around her fingers.

 

Rose pulls back from the kiss first, glowing bright pink all the way down to her toes, beaming like the sun. It's rare form for her. It's not that Rose is some stone faced ice queen, despite how many people get that first impression. She is, though, the kind of person who saves her smiles for when she really and truly means them. This is one of those times.

 

There's something – _everything –_ about the two of these beautiful girls that's infectious. John finds himself grinning as he shimmies himself around the truck to get closer. But he pauses. Stops just before he lets himself join in.

 

He puts his hand on Dave's shoulder.

 

“You cool with this, dude?”

 

Rose and Jade pull away from each other, pausing to give Dave their attention. He locks eyes with each of them for a brief, passing moment and it's only Jade's slight nod that would let an outsider in on their silent conversation. It's either All, or Nothing. No one gets left out, and no one gets disappointed. That's how it works, because that's how it has to work.

 

“Shit yeah, sign me the fuck up like it's a pro-gun rally and I'm a republican nominee. Wanna be all over y'all like Canadian news outlets on a 6 million dollar maple syrup heist.”

 

“Okay but, first, let me just-” and John wraps his arms around all three of them at once as best as he can, which is, admittedly, not very well, but he tries and they do the rest of the work for him. Arms cross and intermingle and fingers weave together and Rose is pretty sure her left hand is holding Jade's right, and Dave's leg is what's pressed up against her thigh but she can't be sure. They lay like that for a few beats. They breathe out of time with each other and their hearts tap along to different rhythms and none of them care about that whatsoever.

 

They learned a long time ago that a thing being perfect only meant that it was fake. Jade finds her peace in the uneven heaving of their chests and they way they can't quite all find a way to lie comfortably without someone getting hair in their mouth or having a limb or two fall asleep. It's nothing like anything any of them would ever described as being in love, but its love, plain and simple as that.

 

For a moment they rest like that, until Jade gets bored of waiting and she plants a line of kisses up Rose's neck, humming as she goes.

 

“Not that I don't love this,” She says. “But I was promised a little bit more.”

 

Rose laughs with her, curling in to her body. John lays her head in his lap as he scoots back , and Dave finds himself sharing that space, their hair pooling together on John's thighs, Rose's hand dancing across his chess tantalizingly. John bends forward as far as he can and Dave meets him the rest of the way and they kiss, lightly.

 

“You're cute,” John says.

 

“I know.”

 

“Narcissism isn't cute,” John says.

 

“I'm just confident, fuck you.”

 

“Let's see how that translates to the bedroom.” Rose moves away from Jade and rolls on top of Jade, the two of them balanced heavily on John's legs. She pushes stray hairs out of his face and wraps her legs around his waist. He responds by tugging at the hem of her shirt, trying to get it out from between them.

 

Jade takes pity. She lifts Rose back against her and begins undressing her. Rose's shirt is the first thing to go, then she reaches for her own, and while they're both left sitting there, breasts hanging freely in the cool, rainy air of the night, she goes one step further and begins sliding Rose's sweatpants down her pale legs. The two of them are as physically different as two people can be. Rose is short and curvaceous, pale skin and dark eyes, large, soft thighs. Jade is built like a lumberjack, pushing six feet with muscle to match, scraggly-haired and a deep, warm brown. It's like night and day, summer and winter, the contrast between them, but no one could say one was any more stunning than the other.

 

Especially not John.

 

He and Dave maneuver the back of the truck as best as possible, skirting around the girls until they're positioned on either side of them. Dave goes in for the kill immediately, taking one of Jade's nipples in his mouth. She yelps, but then quickly starts tugging off her own pants in response.

 

John is now fully dressed, doing nothing, and feeling a bit like a jackass. He begins to strip but Rose interrupts him, guiding his hands with her own across his body much more sensually than he'd ever do it. She nips at his collarbone and neck a few times, leaving him feeling like a hot air balloon, barely tethered to the ground.

 

“Let me eat you out,” He finds himself saying to his surprise and his face goes red hot. Rose is dusted a deep pink.

 

“How can I say no to that?” She says.

 

“Well, pretty easily, but I was really hoping you wouldn't want to!”

 

Her only response to that is to pull off the remainder of his clothes, and finally finish up by yanking off her own underwear and carelessly flinging them aside. A slew of complaints gives evidence to them landing on Dave's head, but she's a bit distracted to care about that.

 

John kisses his way down from her belly button, to the tightly groomed curls right above her vagina. He drags his tongue down further, splitting her open just the tiniest bit, and he then darts quickly back up to take her clitoris in his mouth. He licks it. Rolls his tongue on it. Once, twice, again, and her legs are already starting to shake a bit.

 

“Shit, John,” She breathes. “Shit you've. Certainly been practicing since last time.”

 

He chuckles against her, deep and warm, and it sends another round of shockwaves coursing through her.

 

He begins to press on her a little bit more vigorously, and with only a slight amount of hesitation she opens for him, and his tongue slips inside. She tastes bittersweet, and, honestly, a bit overwhelming, but the soft sounds she's making and the way her walls flutter open and closed around him make it more than worth it. Her hand comes down to grip the back of his head, clawing at his hair and pushing his whole face flush against the inside of her legs. Her thighs are like silk on each side of his face, and she's warm in the way only another person could be. He dives deeper into her, as deep as he can go, and she yells.

 

“John, _fuck,_ just- just fuck me!”

 

“You mean like for real?”

 

“Yes, for real, just. Hold on.”

 

She pulls away from him, and for a minute they're still connected, a string of saliva and cum trailing between the two of them before snapping and beading down John's twin.

 

“Dave,” says Rose, “Got anything?”

 

He and Jade are kissing like two teens in an R-Rated movie. The space between them is more or less non-existent, but both of their erections are large and prominent through their underwear. Dave shoots Rose a nasty look as he detaches himself.

 

“One day the answer to that question is gonna be no, and then where'll you be?”

 

“Sad and horny, just like you've always wanted me. You bastard.”

 

He mumbles some sort of lascivious rhyme that sends a box of condoms and a bottle of lubricant shooting out of his sylladex, colliding loudly with the wall of the truck's cap before clattering onto the bed.

 

“C'mon, Dave, let's go give them a hand,” Jade suggests, with completely blatant intent.

 

Jade starts pulling out condoms from the box and she makes quick work of rolling one down John's dick. Rose pours a minimal amount of lube on him, because, well, she can tell there won't be a ton of need for it, and she starts jacking him off, bringing him to full attention.

 

“Hey Rose,” Jade chimes. “Any chance you're feeling up for me too today?”

 

Rose flushes deeper than either of the boys have ever seen her, pink scaling all the way up to crimson. Jade, however, is very familiar with this.

 

“I think... that could be arranged,” She murmurs. “If you think John could handle it without his dick exploding.”

 

“I don't really know what you guys are talking about, but based on how Rose looks like a tomato the answer is probably no!”

 

“Speaking of exploding dicks I'm kinda high and dry over here. So, if anyone wants to deal with that.” Dave quips from the corner Jade left him in.

 

“Dave, I promise, I will take care of your boner in just a second! Just let me and John get into position.”

 

“I'm still not really sure what we're doing?”

 

“Jade'll talk you through it,” Said Rose. “For now, all you need to worry about is this.

 

And she climbs on to his lap, straddling him, poised to lower herself down onto him. She does. Slowly, almost excruciatingly slow, and John feels every centimeter of warmth envelop him. She's tight, but not in a restricting way, and so, so hot. She bottoms herself out on him with a soft hiss and gives a few experimental bounces up and down.

 

“Jade,” She says, continuing her small motions. “Your move.”

 

Jade honest to goodness fistpumps and John can see that she- _oh, ohhh._ She's got a condom on too and from behind Rose, facing John, her hand travels over the smooth curves of the other girl's ass and right down the folds of her vagina. She delicately teases them open with one finger and then slips it in next to John's penis.

 

His eyes go wide.

 

“Rose are you really gonna fuck both of us at once!?”

 

“Yes, providing, as I said earlier, your dick doesn't explode first.”

 

“Okay,” He squeaks. “I'll try.”

 

One finger. Two fingers. Three, then four. Jade pumps them in and out in time with Rose's undulations and John feels the space loosen up around him as she pulls them out entirely. And then Jade is pressing her tip in next to his base, and with a little bit of shifting from Rose, she's in. Her breasts press up against Rose's back and she kisses John over her shoulder. She begins to thrust.

 

“Okay, Dave,” She says. “Come here now!”

 

“Shit, finally.”

 

John fumbles for a minute or so before finding Jade's pace and matching it, he pulling out as she pushes in, never leaving Rose empty for a second. The heat and the pressure of it is absolutely insane, not like anything he's ever felt before, and he bites down on his bottom lip like a lifeline as he tries to avoid full on screaming.

 

“God, Rose, you're so-”

 

“You too, _shit,_ right there, that's-”

 

Dave swallows her ecstatic cries as he pulls her in to another sloppy kiss. His hands trail between her waist and her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipples or smoothing down her sides. Jade releases her iron grip on Rose's midsection to let one of her hands find its way between Dave's legs. He cries out as she begins pumping him.

 

“I love you guys,” She breathes into the crook of Rose's neck.

 

There's a silent pulse of agreement between them as they all pick up pace. Their motions begin to falter. Rose doesn't quite time lifting her hips right with the way John and Jade are thrusting, but they've also lost a bit of rhythm between the two of them as well. Faster. Sloppier. Harder. Dave adds his own hand to Jade's and everything goes double time.

 

Rose is the first one to go and she clenches tight, tight like a vice around John and Jade while they give it their last, firm burst. John is next, only lasting a few more thrusts and Jade follows soon after.

 

And then there's Dave.

 

John and Rose are collapsed on their backs, chests heaving, thighs glistening with lube and cum and spit in a way that'd be disgusting if it didn't feel so damn good. And Jade wants nothing more than to join them, but she's nothing if not a girl of her word and she seals her mouth around the tip of Dave's cock and swallows him, right down to the root.

 

He cums with a cry and a hand tangled in her hair.

 

They spend the next few minutes just laying there, spent and overheated. Rose rummages through their scattered belongings, coming back with her thermos and book. She takes a long sip of tea, and then opens to a dog eared page.

 

 

“And so, the Covetous Mage, who had bested their bedraggled party endlessly, and even more endlessly after that, lay slain at the feet of the Son of Balthazar. His blood was the rusting red of a common man's, devoid of any hint of nobility-”

 

* * *

 

They wake to the pink of the sunrise the next morning, and John thinks, _pink,_ that's how he feels. It's not the full blown bright red that people always say is romance but its something softer, more comfortable, but just as vibrant.

 

The sky is clear and the ground is dry. He makes them eggs and bacon while Rose lies with her head on Jade's lap, and her legs on Dave's.

 

They sleep under the stars again that night.

 


End file.
